Energeia and I.

I did not want to lose my autonomy, my chance to see life and follow a butterfly if I so wished. I was frightened by the thought of duty placing heavy chains upon me, and so I wanted to know what my possibilities were.

In my eagerness to understand and live life, I sought to look at it by staring at my shoes in constant fear. Clearly, life is not merely my shoes; it is not so simple. It seemed obvious to me that there are moments when one must give one's soul for a single cause, which stood in stark contrast to the finite nature of life—such as the need, at times, for good nourishment and staying fit in order to fight.

In a similar sense, I do not want to lose my opportunity to give everything for what I desire and what calls to me. In this manner, beyond cause or duty, lies what is seen as truly valuable in life. Be it exploring a cave, writing a book, or even getting ahead and finding love.

Therefore, whatever has called to me so strongly, in one way or another, I would not wish to have extinguished or discarded. For life, as a finite existence, is worth living on the horizon of possibility. And I would not wish to lose it for that possibility of "giving everything" solely to a duty.

Analogous to my finitude and my limitations, I see that what is cherished is necessary for life. That is why I will give everything for what I want and love, and I will keep moving forward, and I will be strong like Ichigo Kurosaki.

I will live and nourish myself, embracing my limitations. And I will give everything for what calls to my heart. And I will also give everything for duty and justice. It does not have to be a contradiction, but rather a way of living in the face of helplessness and pain.

I can pause to eat, and that is not wrong. What is more, it is necessary in order to put up the best fight. And discovering what is loved is essential for life. And the fight for what is just constitutes life itself.

Doubts about myself.

The finite is the beautiful.

To fight the best fight within a finite context.

To love myself.